Meditation on Sin

Remembering the Sins of Youth

O holy God, just Judge, do not remember the faults of my youth (Psalm 25:7). Do not recall any more the sins of my past (Jeremiah 31:34). The root of evil desire produced so much poison fruit in my childhood. The evil of original sin produced so many actual sins. The thoughts of my heart are depraved and perverse from earliest childhood, even from tender infancy (Genesis 6:5). If I were a day-old infant, in Your sight I would still not be innocent (Job 14:4). The faults and failures that weigh on me are as many as the days of my life; in fact, they are many more because even a righteous person falls seven times a day, I believe that I, hopeless and unrighteous, have fallen seventy times seven in a day.

Life increased and the web of sins increased. However, much You kindly added to the length of my life, my defective and corrupt nature added an equal amount to the weight of my sins. I look back at my life and find the most foul and filthy cloak of sins. When I compare the course of my life to the light of Your precepts, I find only darkness and blindness. My youth should have been picked like a tender young flower, worn as a crown of virtue, and offered to You as a fragrant scent. The best of my years should have belonged to You, the Creator of nature. But the filth of sins polluted that flower of my youth in the foulest way. The stinking, filth of transgressions fouled it terribly and miserably. Of all our years, the earliest are the most apt time for us to serve God. However, I used most of mine to serve the devil. The memory of many sins committed in my promiscuous and uncontrolled youth weighs heavy on my mind. Worse yet, many more of these sins escape my memory. Who can discern his errors? Forgive my hidden faults (Psalm 19:12).

For the disobedience of my youth, I offer to You, holy Father, the obedience of Your Son. I offer to You the perfect innocence of the One who became obedient to You, even to death, even death on a cross (Philippians 2:8). Evan as a boy of twelve, Christ showed a holy obedience to You and followed Your will with great willingness (Luke 2:42). This obedience, O just judge, I offer as the price and satisfaction for the great disobedience of my Youth. Amen.

Johann Gerhard